Resolution

To the Rivermouth is a dance about entrance; entrance into life, into chaos, into tranquility, into self-love and worth. To the Rivermouth is a dance about stepping into the rushing current and being swept away without apprehension. The current is sure and unstable, flexible and yet unyielding.

I am like the current. The studio is my riverbed and when I step into my rehearsal I let my currents go in the form of impulse. My choreography is a direct reflection of where I am on the current day and in working in this way I hope that the audience experienced the waves and eddies of my movement.

It was very important to me that the dance was visceral in the richest way so when I made up movement I cared more about how it felt within the body as opposed to the technique of the movement. When my dancers asked me questions about movement specificity I would often ask them what they felt flowed better within their own bodies. With this method I feel like I created the feeling of the movement very well. As I watched my dancers perform I was very proud of their performance quality and I have to believe that most of their performance quality came from the freedom I gave them with the movement creation.

A useful tool for me in this process was established in the very first rehearsal. We came in and spoke briefly then I got them moving with a phrase I made up on the spot. This was meant to introduce my dancers to the way I would be choreographing the piece, but it yielded another result. When I reviewed the video of my dancers performing this preliminary movement I really saw where they were in terms of technique and comfort level. I found this immensely useful because I knew we had a very limited amount of time to create this dance and this knowledge allowed me to choreograph to their strengths.

           The ending product was more than satisfactory. This was my first ever produced piece of work and as I was both stunned and extremely proud to watch my dancers perform my ideas with stellar grace and sincerity. My emotional attachment to the piece hinders me from viewing it objectively at this point, but I look forward to looking back on this experience as a means of revisiting where I started.





        How do I feel today? How does what I feel today relate to what I felt yesterday? Does that even matter? Who am I? Do I know myself? Do I care that I may not know myself? Is this real? What if it's not? Do I matter?

       All of these questions were brought up in the creation of my solo, Bent Semblance. I chose this title as a result of the mostly finished product. As I watched my video I realized that I was trying very hard to represent my true self through movement, but conflictingly I was also trying to portray what I saw in other dancers that I would like to see in myself. This brought up the many battles of questioning my ability and my worth in the world as a dancer. Am I enough in being myself truly or must I be myself and my admire-es simultaneously?

       In many ways, the creation of this solo was a direct confrontation between myself and my issues with self worth within the world of dance. In terms of ability, I never feel like I am where I "should" be. This is the root of the conflict. While I do not feel like I have resolved these issues, I am happy to have had the opportunity to look them in the face and recognize them completely.

Chap 7-8: Balancing Act

The tensions of opposites makes me think of balance, and even more specifically, the fleetingness of balance in dance. Chapter seven of Fraleigh’s Dance and the Lived Body deals with the balance or tension between Expressionistic and Formalistic dance. Upon reading this the first time around I instantly said in my mind that I am an expressionist. This seemed obvious to me and I was almost appalled to even think of myself as a formalist. I felt as if being an expressionist meant that I was a free dancer and being a formalist meant that I would always have to work under the confines of a particular technique. As I took the reading forward I began to see that my views of expression were correct but not complete. A formalist can be expressive and an expressionist can be formal. One house of dance can exist while the other exists simultaneously.

    I found relativeness with this in my choreography and in my approach to technique. In modern I feel more expressive in that I am free to interpret the movement more variably than I would in a ballet class, however, this does not denote that there are no formalistic qualities. In a grand battement in modern the energy of the leg should come from the brush of the foot plantar flexing against the floor. This is formalistic and objective because it is in keeping with the archetype of a grand battement in ballet. In the Limone technique the body swings and the arms swing and float. This is an example of expression coexisting with formalism.

    In my choreography I find that I enjoy seeing both abstract and direct symbols of my concept. For my Junior Choreography Project, my concept image is of eddies in the water. I have made movement for my dancers that is very close to the movement of an eddie, and I have also made movement that is an abstraction of the movement of an eddie. I feel that this is important because I feel that in this setting of mixed audience, it is crucial to create a dance that is accessible by the majority of the audience. The abstract movements fit more under the roof of expressionism as the qualities of the movement are attributed by the watcher and this fact makes the movement subjectively (or individually) symbolic. The more direct or denotative symbols fit more under the roof of formalism as the movement is very similar to the archetype or symbol, but it contains a degree of difference that leaves room for possibility. Fraleigh describes the beliefs of Nelson Goodman and Susanne Langer that solidified my belief in the importance of the coexistence and balance of formalism and expressionism. “Goodman and Susanne Langer...hold that art does function symbolically--that it refers us beyond its immediate material.” (Page 115).







    The balancing of Expressionism and Formalism also brings into question the material of Chapter 8: Mythic Polarity and Feminine and Masculine Archetypes. This whole balancing act of femininity and masculinity is especially present in my solo. I feel like I want to be masculine because I will be a solo man on the stage in front of an audience. This is of course my ego talking. What I am beginning to understand from Dance and the Lived Body is that dancing masculine or feminine does not necessarily mean dancing like a man or woman. Maculinity is associated with objective dance and femininity is associated with expressive subjective dance.
   
    I am a shape oriented choreographer. I like for my movement to objectively look a certain way which is very formalistic. In my piece, To the Rivermouth, it was important for me to get all of the material out quickly so that I could get the objective shape of the dance. As rehearsals progressed and my dancers assumed the shape of the dance we began to talk about the feeling and emotion of the piece. This took a lot of practice because I do not think the underclassmen are experienced with this kind of subjective and expressive approach to performance. So the piece started out masculine and has now balanced out with a good degree of femininity.

   The discoveries of this chapter have been really helpful in allowing me to understand this conflict I have had with shape oriented dance versus expressive dance. I also feel like I have a better hold on my identity as a dancer and choreographer which has always been a high priority of mine. Now that I have found this idea of balancing the two houses of dance I am excited to experiment with the amount of the presence of each one in my choreography. I feel that this would get me out of my comfort zone and allow for unlimited possibilities.

     It took me a while to understand that Fraleigh was never going to talk about muscle tension in chapter five. After I realized there would be no talk of muscles, I was confused as to what she meant by the tension of opposites within the lived body. To understand this I had to first understand the way Fraleigh believed the Universe to be comprised. “Early Greek cosmology posits a simple view of the unity of the cosmos through oscillation of opposites.” (page 78). With this quote, I begin to understand the use of the word tension as a way of describing the pull of the cosmos inward so that they may revolve around each other to create unity. In the section before the previous quote, (page 78), Fraleigh writes that she sees the lived body as a “Microcosm” which holds in itself the same kind of oppositional tension. Unlike the cosmos, the body does not hold nearly as many structural or physical oppositional tensions as the cosmos, but there exists “creative tensions -- Cosmic and phenomenal, historic, aesthetic and mythic.” These exist in me as a dancer and choreographer and are displayed in everything I create.

    This then led me to look at my dance in search of the creative tensions that brought life to the movement. The most apparent to me within the rough draft of my piece is the tension between emotional creativity and sophisticated creativity. I have want to create work that is emotionally evocative and sophisticated as well as I feel that I work emotionally  and sophisticated in the studio. I notice the emotional creativity in my concept and in the contact I have choreographed with my dancers both physical and focal. The sophistication is not showing as well as I would like it to show at this moment, but I know it is there in my intentions with the movements. I have tried to give the dancers movement that fits the concept as well as movement that is well received in their bodies. In doing this I hope that the audience will objectively receive the movement well so that they may feel the movement.

    My concept of water eddies comes from another kind of tension. I am having a difficult time naming this tension because it is natural and spiritual, but not necessarily religious although there is a degree of worship that comes with it. I feel that nature is a beautiful gift and so I am very spiritually connected to images of rivers, lakes, trees, and flowers. I feel that the most appropriate name, while still not perfect, would be Natural Creativity. If I held inside myself a solar system, Natural Creativity would be next-axis-neighbor to emotional creativity.




“...grace may possess some constants, such as centeredness in action, movement from a gravitational center, and absence of self-consciousness, which Heinrich von Kleist portrays as its essential qualities. “

    The previous quote comes from page 99 of chapter six and resonated deeply with me as grace is such a monumental portion of my life in general. Of course Fraleigh (and Heinrich von Kleist) are describing grace in terms of dance, however I cannot help but to relate every aspect of this section titled “Grace and Change” to all aspects of my life. A general theme of this section is that grace is seen as “ease of motion”. In the studio this could mean approaching movement with a calm mind so that I may easily execute a movement to my fullest range of motion. In my life outside of the studio this means that I carry out my actions with a calm and centered mind so that I may execute each intention...intentionally. For example: I have to interact with my roommate, Chase, every day. We share our groceries as well as our appliances and almost everything else. When I wake up in the morning to eat breakfast I go into the kitchen where Chase has usually made a pot of coffee. When I open the refrigerator I grab some fruit and other items. Grace comes into play in this act of taking food from the refrigerator. I must look at what we have collectively, and select a FAIR amount of each of our groceries. Being fair is graceful. If I was to take a large amount of his fruit then he might come into the kitchen later wanting the things that he bought upon this time we might have a conflict between us. This simple daily task must be carried out gracefully so that my apartment and my relationship with my dear friend may have better harmony. No matter what the situation in life or the quality of movement in the studio; grace is “the achievement of spontaneity and fulfillment of intention when movement attains surety of purpose.” (page 99).

    Shelley Cushman always ALWAYS talks to us about intention in Performance Theory. “Where does the movement come from and where is it going” -SC. She never lets us get away with cutting the movement short and she tells us things like “NO! STOP! Go back to (some point in the movement) and REALLY GO THERE before you move on.” This is very relative to the way Fraleigh describes grace. I feel that intention in movement is something I do very well, but no matter how good I am now, I can always be better. We can always take the movement farther and further. Farther into, through, out of, and around the space, and further out of our bodies from the inside through our intentions.

4th rehearsal

Third Rehearsal

Dance and the Self. Dance and the Other.

     I come into the studio every day with the same goal: To achieve what I perceive to beautiful within myself and within the movement that I give to the dancers that I have selected. Within this goal I have to be consistently honest with myself about who I am in this time. What am I feeling today and how is it different and simultaneously relative to how I was yesterday. As I change day by day so does my perception of beauty.

    Chapter 3: Dance and the Self is all about the convergence of the objective and the subjective as the experience. I objectively see myself and I objectively see my dancers before me. Subjectively I feel and sense my space and the qualities (or aesthetic values) of my movement just as I subjectively sense the relationships of my dancers. More simply put, I see and feel simultaneously, and this way of perceiving creates my experience that day in the studio. Herein lies a substantial conflict between my subjectivity and that of the four dancers I have cast. I may demonstrate a movement in a way that I FEEL is very clear because it is intrinsic to me and the dancer will SEE me move and try to imitate, however the way they feel the movement is often observed as that which I do not want. This problem is specifically occurring with Lorone as he often tries to perform the movement I give him in a very bound quality when I would like it to be performed in an direct-yet-free quality. A solution to this problem could be that I have to verbally explain the aesthetic intent of the movement that I give him. For example: There is a part of the dance where I have asked Lorone to sequentially drop his upper body down laterally until he reaches his maximum stretch upon which time he would contract frontally and turn in the direction he leaned. He has consistently made the movement into a bound snaking motion in which his head leads him in a swiveling pattern that is not at all what I wanted. What I intend to do in the next rehearsal is to talk to him about the way it should be seen by the audience and the way it should feel in his body. In doing this I hope he will begin to understand in his body how the movement should feel.

    I was very intrigued by Fraleigh’s explanation of Aesthetic Intent as the purpose of the movement. “I have held that the aesthetic is the affective.” (Page 43). The affective is everything because it is what moves the audience. The affective is the Iliopsoas of the work and as such I, as the choreographer, have to be articulate enough to show and explain my intent clearly and effectively to my dancers so that they may also be clear. If I succeed in this, then my piece may be objectively observed very much in keeping with the way I intended. Having said that, I must also know that my piece will be experienced subjectively differently by each of my dancers, and I must accept that as an inevitable existential truth.

    My hope for my piece is that my aesthetic affective (intent) is effective enough to move the audience. This is, in essence, the purpose of the purpose as stated by Fraleigh. “I am proposing that the aesthetic, defined as the affective, is a quality of being moved, in the sense that when I say ‘I am moved’ I mean, “I feel something,’ and in fact my sense of feeling has been increased.” The intent of my piece should make the audience move inside in that kind of unexplainable way. Just as the eddies of the creek our insides spiral when we watch a dancer spiral turn in such a complete and appropriate way. This is what I want for my piece.

    The latter wish brings up the subject of audience perception. Just as the way I see and feel myself and my movement, so does the audience see and feel my movement and the movement of my dancers. In Chapter 4: Dance and the Other, Fraleigh claims, “The aesthetically effective arises...when the full body consciousness is vitalized...but I am not engaged in dance as art until my dance is expressed for others and its values are realized between us.” (Page 57). This is such a simple and beautiful idea. It is to say that the expression is art when there is a communion between the dancer and the audience. This word communion brings up religious images primarily of the people of the church coming to the spiritual leaders to receive some sort of symbolic  representation of that which they worship. Looking at this image in a more basic way, there are people who come to a place for the purpose of bearing witness to an event or lesson, and during this happening, there is a dialogue between the actor who is to be witnessed and the people who are to witness. Fraleigh puts this in terms of dance by stating, “A good dance moves the dancer and the audience toward each other.” (Page 61). There are no separate parties. Despite the fact that the dancers are noticed and the audience unnoticed (most of the time), the interaction and participation of both groups makes the expression art. The Dance does  not exist on the same level if the audience does not exist.

    The audience receives the dance objectively and subjectively. They see the aesthetic values and receive them effectively when they are related to another objective source. This could be anything that exists in the past experiences of the individual audience member which is why each individual will receive the dance subjectively differently. What is seen is then related and is finally felt.

    As I come to better understand Fraleigh’s theory of Existentialism in dance, I find that the way I view my own choreography is shifted. We all come from different experiences and thus we receive in different quantities and in vastly different ways. Because of this, my creation must be both a representation of the sum of all of my experiences and a universal work from which any audience member may feel moved even if only slightly.
   
These eddies are the concept image for my piece. They are fast and erratic and yet they have a calmness about them.

Second Rehearsal